Spanking is bad in the long term

With three wild boys in my house, we have enough hitting and pushing. We don't need to add spanking to the list. I don't think spanking is always sooo bad, but it's not something we do. How about you? Do you spank your kids to get them to behave?

FROM MSNBC:Spanking or slapping your child has long-term, harmful effects on their development, according to a new review of 20 years of research.

Over the past two decades, research has increasingly found links between such "everyday" types of physical punishment and higher levels of child aggression, according to the review. In fact, no studies have found this type of child discipline to predict a positive long-term effect.

"I think it's important for parents to understand that although physical punishment might get a child to do something in the immediate situation, there are many side effects that can develop over the long term," said co-author Joan Durrant, a child clinical psychologist at Family Social Sciences at the University of Manitoba in Canada.

"For example, the more often a child sees a parent respond to conflict or frustration with slapping or spanking, the more likely that child will do the same when confronting their own conflicts," Durrant said.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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Is Yelling the new Spanking?

How many times a week do you yell at your kids? Some experts say yelling is the new spanking. Many parents these days have chosen not to spank after several studies showing it causes psychological damage. Does yelling do the same thing? If so, I'm in trouble. I do try not to scream at the kids, but it happens sometimes. I don't believe any parent who says time outs always do the trick. However, after reading this article, I will pay closer attention to how loud I am disciplining the kids. I won't aim for "never" yelling, but I will certainly think about it and step out of the room more often.

FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES:Numerous studies exist on the effect of corporal punishment on children. A new one came out just last month. Led by a researcher at Duke University’s Center for Child and Family Policy, the study concluded that spanking children when they are very young (1-year-old) can slow their intellectual development and lead to aggressive behavior as they grow older. But there is far less data on the more common habit of shouting and screaming in families.

One study that did take a look at the topic — a paper on the “psychological aggression by American parents” published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2003 — found that parental yelling was a near-universal occurrence. Of 991 families interviewed, in 88 percent of them a parent acknowledged shouting, screaming or yelling at the kids at least once (though it didn’t specify how many did it more often) in the previous year.

“We are so accustomed to this that we just think parents get carried away and that it’s not harmful,” said one of the study’s lead authors, Murray A. Straus, a sociologist who is a director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. “But it affects a child. If someone yelled at you at work, you’d find that pretty jarring. We don’t apply that standard to children.”

Psychologists and psychiatrists generally say yelling should be avoided. It’s at best ineffective (the more you do it the more the child tunes it out) and at worse damaging to a child’s sense of well-being and self-esteem.

“It isn’t the yelling per se that’s going to make a difference, it’s how the yelling is interpreted,” said Ronald P. Rohner, director of the Ronald and Nancy Rohner Center for the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut. If a parent is simply loud, he says, the effect is minimal. But if the tone connotes anger, insult or sarcasm, it can be perceived as a sign of rejection.

Professor Rohner noted that while spanking is considered taboo by the major medical and psychological associations, there are still some religious and conservative groups who support it as an effective disciplinary tool, believing that the Bible explicitly allows it.
-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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Spanking Children

Will new research on the negative impact of spanking change your discipline routine?

From ABC: Spanking children could teach them to be more violent, according to new research. Mothers who spanked their children even occasionally were more likely to report aggressive behavior in their kids.

In surveys, nearly all adults remember being spanked as children. And the cycle continues, as most admit they spank their kids at least occasionally. Parents spank kids because they lose their tempers, experts say, but also because spanking works in the short-term to get a child's attention. But new research finds spanking has long-term negative effects on children's behavior.

Researchers studied more than 3,300 American mothers & toddlers and found that kids who were spanked tended to be more aggressive. Mothers reported how often their children engaged in behaviors such as hitting, getting into fights, or not getting along with other kids. Results showed that kids who were spanked several times in the last month were 40 percent more likely to display aggressive behaviors. Those spanked less frequently were still rated as 17 per cent more aggressive than their peers.

Experts say that - instead of spanking -- parents should distract infants and young toddlers away from unwanted behaviors, and use time outs or denying of privileges to discipline older children.

Source: presented at the 2008 American Public Health Association meeting in San Diego

Do you spank your children? Why or Why not?

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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Question on Spanking Answered

Here's a follow-up I promised:

An anonymous blogger sent me this question last week after I posted an article on spanking:

Jen,

Interesting links you provided and great thought provokers. However the "Religious Tolerance" 'pro-spanking site' is a Reformed Protestant Christian perspective. What are the positions held by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches on spanking? They are Christian and would likely have very interesting input.Both the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches are within the Peoria area... possibly their leadership would comment on this subject?Thanks for not shying away from challenging subjects.

So, I called the churches this week. Here's what I found:

Catholic Diocese of Peoria (Il): The Diocese would not respond. If you are not in the media business, just know, this is no surprise. I am often told from the diocese they don't have time to respond or can't find someone to answer my question.

So, I called another Catholic Diocese and got an interesting response:

Catholic Diocese of Savannah, Georgia:

The Catholic Church doesn’t have a specific policy or stance on spanking. I think the best response to the question of discipline can be found in the U.S. Catholic Bishops pastoral message to families entitled: “Follow the Way of Love”. On p. 21 of the small booklet it says: “When children are born, both mother and father are important in nurturing and forming them. …Children in the family share equal dignity as persons with the adults. They too are part of the covenant of mutuality. Parents can demonstrate this by treating children with respect, giving them responsibilities, listening seriously to their thoughts and feelings.”

In the section A Concluding Word they write: “Parents: not only do your children need discipline and love, they need the example of adults whose behavior demonstrates their caring. Put your children first in making decisions about family life.”

Spanking is a form of discipline that teaches children that the adult, the “bigger person” can control by abuse and hurting. The child then learns to wait to be big enough to do the same. That is the philosophy of many of the social workers I know and I believe it is true that children learn more from love, understanding and concern than they do from spanking or physical discipline. The Church understands the stresses that the family faces today and encourages parents to take advantage of the spiritual supports and community to be able to discipline with love and not violence.

There are some wonderful examples of how to raise peaceful and peacemaking children. Kathleen and Jim McGinnis have the institute for Peace and Justice with educational and parenting materials at www.ipj.com .

Naomi Drew offers a newsletter about peaceful parenting at www.learningpeace.com.

These would be some of the suggestions I would offer to parents regarding ideas for alternate forms of discipline that will help create loving and peaceful homes.

I hope this helps you a little. Please feel free to contact me if you need more information.

Sister Pat Brown, SSMN

Director of Family Life

Catholic Diocese of Savannah

All Saints Greek Orthodox Church in Peoria, Il:

"We are going to say we don't believe in spanking. It's a form of abuse."

And here's an interesting pro-spanking comment from Christianparents.net:

Parents should take note that the Bible never recommends "hitting" your child, it clearly states we are to use the "rod" of correction. (The fact that it is necessary to pause a moment while fetching the customary instrument of correction insures that parents will not lash out in anger, but administer correction in a controlled fashion.)

Proverbs 22:15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

Proverbs 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

Prov 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Some nimble "Christian" psychologists explain away the rod as a symbol for authority, and teach that you should never use anything but your hand to give a token swat to a misbehaving child. I have no doubt that the plain and most practical interpretation of Proverbs is parents should use the rod rather than to swat their children. I also believe the scriptural reference to the "rod" best corresponds to a switch or perhaps a flexible paddle.

I hope reading both sides on this issue helps you decide what's best for your family

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Spanking Kids

To spank or not to spank? Most parents I know who spank their kids are certainly not committing child abuse, but if you have kids who misbehave, it's easy to see how you could really lose your temper.

My husband and I decided before we had kids we would not spank, but there have been times where we thought that may be a good solution. I am all for punishing parents who physically abuse their kids, but should states be deciding how we discipline? This is a tough call.

Here's an ABC story by David Wright that sparking the spanking debate in my house: (Some of the information is paraphrased)

"Some Lawmakers in Massachusetts want to ban parents from spanking their children, even in their own homes. They say it's one more way to protect kids from abuse, but many parents say it's government attempting to take too much control.

In 29 states, it's illegal for a teacher to do this. In all 50 states, parents are allowed to spank their own children. Massachusetts nurse Kathleen Wolf wrote a bill that could make Massachusetts the first state in the nation to ban corporal punishment at home. "I think it's ironic that domestic violence applies to everyone except the most vulnerable -- children."

Some parents in Massachusetts are outraged at the possibility saying spanking should be a parent's choice. One mom said, "I don't want the government telling me how to raise my children."

Nineteen countries have banned corporal punishment. And some child rearing experts believe one day the US will do so as well. Wolf says she's not recommending that parents who do spank their kids should face jail time, as they do in Sweden. Or fines, as they do elsewhere. She said she just wants to give parents the support they need."

Discipline at Home is an anti-spanking article that reacts to some statements you may have said yourself.

The Religious Tolerance has a pro-spanking section that relates this form of discipline to Christianity.

What do you think about a spanking ban? Let me know by posting a comment.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen